Things I Hide on the Inside

1. I cry on a daily basis when you're gone.
2. My favorite picture of us never goes a night without being kissed before I fall asleep.
3. I have saved voicemails from you from over a year ago that I listen to very often.
4. I'm afraid to reread the letters you wrote me in boot camp because I don't want to commit emotional suicide.
5. My friends ask me how I can handle the distance, and I always say "I don't know." Truth is, the only reason I can think of is because I am in love with you. Love conquers all, right?
6. You being in the Navy is way harder than I ever expected.
7. When you call me while on deployment, all of my sadness goes away. The moment you hang up, it all comes back.
8. I'm afraid to be living with you when you go on deployment. I don't want to be alone.
9. Whenever something great happens to me, I'm not excited when I don't get to tell you.
10. I'm sick of wasting years of our lives being apart from each other.
11. I wished you liked the idea of going to college more.
12. When I miss a phone call, my mood is ruined for the entire day.
13. At night, I cuddle with every stuffed animal you have ever gave to me.
14. The only reason I don't tell you not to make a career out of the Navy is because I know you love your job.
15. I'm proud of myself because I never thought I would be able to survive this long.

I don't tell him these things because I like hearing him happy. He knows that I will never leave his side, and all of these things would make him think that I am doubting us. Only a little over a year to go, and I'm hoping to be living with him. That will make things so much easier on our relationship. The past couple of days have been very emotional for me. Maybe it's a sign that I missed his call tonight because a lot of these things would have came out.