The Other Side of the World Doesn't Seem So Far Away When You're Always on my Mind

There have been so many thoughts running through my head lately. Zach seems to do that to me quite a bit. We are almost through with a month of this deployment, and it seems to be going by fairly fast. We still have about half of a year left, but I will not let that get me down. The #1 rule of handling a deployment is keeping yourself busy, and I have been trying to do just that. I think it helps that I usually don't wake up until noon... keeps my days unbelievably short. My grandma would yell at me if I told her that, so shhhhh.
I have decided to share these many thoughts with you. Of course I'm a rambling girl who misses her man, so you can skim through the paragraphs. I definitely won't blame you.


Homecoming. There is no better feeling than holding him after months of being separated. It feels like I have a whole heart again. Feeling his arms around my body makes me feel safe again. Looking into his teary eyes reassures me how in love he is, and I can never get enough of that. Having my hero in my presence unleashes so much happiness. Now if only the countdown app on my phone could speed up a wee bit...

My family misses him almost as much as I do. I love that. I always feel so lucky that I found a man who my entire family loves to pieces. Both of my parents know that we are perfect for each other. My dad has always been nice to the ex-boyfriends I brought around before, but he would always tell me that I could do better. When he first met Zach, he was not quite sold. After he got a chance to know him better, my dad told me he was impressed at how well Zach treats me among many other things. Getting daddy's approval can be pretty tough, but my sailor pushed his way through that obstacle pretty quick! My step mom is in love with him. If I ever treated him wrong, she would gladly take him off my hands. Now my mom hated him for about an hour. To make a long story short, Zach and I were living about an hour away from each other at the time. We decided it would be a good idea for me to lie to my mom by telling her I was going to stay at a friend's house for the night. Well, her being a good mother found out I was with Zach. We told her where we were, and she came out there right away. After all of the yelling and screaming he obviously had to drive back. When my mom and I got home she said, "He never broke eye contact with me once. He was very polite. I like him." Ever since then she has loved him like he's her own son. ANYWAY (told you I ramble), it makes me smile when my family asks how he's doing. They love getting to talk to him whenever he calls me from the ship. I think they know their daughter is in very good hands.

On a negative note, I don't miss his farts. They linger, they smell horrid, and I hate him for locking the windows or pulling blankets over my head. That is all.

The most important thought that keeps me pushing through deployment is knowing that I will be moving in with him shortly after he comes home. Nothing excites me more than the thought of waking up next to Zach every single morning. I love watching him get ready for work. Most of the time he looks like a zombie trying to put on his ndubs. It's very cute. One of my favorite things to do is cook him a nice dinner before he gets back. I like to think I'm a decent cook, but if he doesn't like something I have made for him I would never know it. He is always so appreciative for the effort I put into it. Our xbox and movie nights are what I look forward to the most when the time comes. We will go from killing each other and gloating to cuddling and falling asleep on the couch together. Ohhh I probably look like an idiot when I think about this while walking to class because I can't help but to smile every time. When I finally get to move in with him, I will be the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.

Distance sucks, but it doesn't alter how in love with him I am. I can count how many times we saw each other last year on one hand, but that doesn't matter. Every time I see him I know our love has gotten stronger than the last time. To have a great love, you must make sacrifices for one another. That's exactly what we are doing. Sometimes I feel so discouraged, but 98% of the time I can't even fathom how lucky I am to have him. Most girls think they will never find the perfect man. I know I never thought I would ever be so fortunate. Being in a wonderful relationship with my best friend is more than I could ever ask for.


Thinking about this stuff makes me sad sometimes, but it also helps remind me how happy I'm going to be when he's home. This is much harder than I could have ever anticipated, but our love is also stronger than I could have ever imagined. On a daily basis I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

This is Zach at the Parthenon in Greece about a week ago. I love seeing recent pictures of him.

See You Later

After an eight day visit in Norfolk, yesterday I had to leave Zach. There were many tears between us, but we are trying to stay positive.
This morning the USS Enterprise left for their final deployment before the ship is decommissioned.
It seems as though they just returned from their most recent deployment.
From past experience, I will remember the most important things to do, and things I should not do.

What I Should NOT Do:
1. Have daily cry sessions. (Being depressed makes the days go by so much slower)
2. Think about what he is missing while he is not here. (Even though we won't be together on our birthdays and anniversary this year, that doesn't mean we won't recognize what the day is and what it means to us)
3. Beat myself up for missing a phone call once in a while. (It's inevitable. I have to accept the fact that it will happen at least once, if not a few times. Beating myself up will make me go to #1, and then I will be a blubbering mess.

What I SHOULD Do:
1. STAY BUSY! (This is the most important thing for any military girlfriend to do while their man is away. Nothing is better than realizing an entire month flew by because you were busy every day)
2. Remember all of the days we have spent together instead of thinking of all the days we will spend apart. (We have so many great memories, and it would be a shame for me to let my sadness take away from how special those are to me)
3. Always have faith. (I will never lose faith in our relationship. I know that we can last through anything. Seven months is nothing compared to the rest of our lives we will get to spend with each other)

Of course this will be hard, but we will make it through. It would be much harder to handle if it was our first deployment though. I just have to stay positive, and keep my friends and family very close for a while. Everything will be perfect again in seven-ish months, and I can't wait for that day. Until then, I will continue to fall more and more in love with my hero every day.

Coming Soon: Deployment #2

The USS Enterprise has been back from their most recent deployment for seven months, but it seems as though they just arrived last week. I met a wonderful friend that day waiting for her sailor to exit the hangar bay just as I was. The atmosphere at the homecoming ceremony was full of patriotism, thankfulness, and love. I have never experienced anything greater in my life.

In a few short weeks, the ship goes back out for their final deployment before the ship is decommissioned. The past seven months have flown by faster than I can blink, and I have found myself to be more emotional than ever. The thought of not having him to talk to every day is scaring me worse than last time.

One week from today, I will be on my way to Virginia for our last visit before we say "See you later." Of course I am ecstatic to see him, but I can not help but dread it at the same time. For each day that I am there, we will be one day closer to another huge challenge on our relationship.

There are way too many negative things about deployment to count, so that's why I am trying to look at this on a much brighter note.
1. For every day that passes while I'm there, that is one day closer to the end of the deployment.
2. The seven months in between these two deployments flew by, but seven months after our second, I will be moving in with him.
3. Even though we will not be able to talk every day, I know that we will be thinking about each other, and that's enough for me.
4. The best aspect of deployment: I get to experience another homecoming. The feeling of holding him after so long is completely indescribable.

I will not deny that for the next several months my blogs may not be very cheerful, but I am confident in myself and our relationship that we will kick deployment's ass!
P.S. Zach is the 6th one from the left in this picture.

Remember What You Love, and Love What You Remember

Chick Flicks usually aren't my thing. Most of the time, I would so much rather see a slasher, or a good Denzel action film than a movie with a soundtrack full of Taylor Swift songs. 

When I first saw previews for The Vow, it felt like a girly wave drowned me. Along with 99% of the girls on this planet, I felt like the world would end if I could not see that movie. I just got back from the movie theater (my friend and I saw the midnight premier). Before I opened my laptop to write, all I could think about was what my life would be like if I was in Rachel McAdams's shoes. I promise, for those of you that have not seen the movie yet, there is no need for a spoiler alert in the remaining text.

Would I be able to fall in love with someone who seems like a stranger all over again?

Well then I got to thinking, I kind of already do that every time I see Zach. Of course, he is no stranger to me, but it seems like it sometimes... especially after deployment. Whenever I finally see him after months of being apart, I fall in love all over again. Being with him in person is nothing like our usual routine of entertaining ourselves through a phone. The facial expressions, the way he holds me, and the way he gently slides the hair away from my face when he leans in for a kiss are three of the very many reasons I fell in love with him. Those things cannot be experienced over the phone. No, I'm not meeting a new person every few months. I am simply recalling the actions that took my breath away years ago, before we ever knew what a long distance relationship was. 

I guess the whole point of this entry was that it is not impossible to remember what you love, and love what you remember. Trust me, I do it all the time.

And Then There Are Those Nights...

What I mean by those nights: 

When you don't want to do anything. 

You don't even want to look at your phone or be social.

The idea of going out seems like torture.

Every song you listen to stirs up another emotion.

Thinking about seeing your sailor is too painful.

You aren't satisfied with anything at all.

Tonight would be one of those nights for me. Perfect inspiration for a blog. 

No, Aunt Flow is NOT here on her monthly visit. I knew what you were thinking...

I was having a really good day earlier  visiting my dad and step mom at home from school. We were all laughing and joking around. Ever since the sun started to go down though, I have felt so...blah.
Facebook and Pinterest were keeping my attention for a little while, but then I got bored with that so I had to find something else to do. I decided to complain.

I get this feeling quite a bit, as do you I'm sure. Usually it's when I have not heard from Zach in a few days. He is the best at calming me down by making me laugh. I will share some things he says with you that don't work, and some that work when I feel like this... and what goes through my head when he says it.

Things Zach tells me when I feel "blah" (that don't work) : 

 - "Just relax." OR "Chill out babygirl." This definitely does not work because if I'm upset about something, it's  a pretty big deal. Too big of a deal to just simply relax or chill out. Don't men know anything?

- "Everything is going to be okay. Just don't think about it so much." AHH! If everything is going to be okay, then why in the hell am I bawling my eyes out?! Nothing will be okay. And if I can't think about it, then how am I going to be able to talk about it with you?!

- "What's wrong babygirl?" (What every woman says with sad eyes) Nothing...

- "Are you sure?" (Also what every woman says) Yeah, I'm sure......10 second pause...... Welllll I guess...

- "You must be on your period." What makes you think that? I still act like the same person when I'm on it. What's that even supposed to mean anyway? (His responses are never the correct thing to say)  

Things Zach tells me when I feel "blah" (that do work) :

- "You know you can always talk to me, right?" Awwwwh yes I do baby. Do you really want to know what's bothering me? "Of course babygirl." 

- "I love you, and I will always be here for you. Especially when you feel like this." I love you too, and thank you so much. I could not have gotten any luckier. No one would put up with my B.S. the way that you do.

- "Everything will be so much easier for the both of us when we can finally start our lives living together." I dream about that day all the time.

- "Am I gonna have to beat someone's ass today?" It cracks me up every time he says this, haha! All I do is just laugh like crazy. 

Anyway, I think writing this post has helped me out a little bit. Nothing says strong than being able to make yourself smile in rough times!

Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed it (:

The Wonders Skype Can Do

We aren't virgins to the Skype world, by any means, but tonight was the first time that we have done it since he has been in the Navy. Phone calls are great, emails are good, but Skyping is the cat's meow, man!
I absolutely love being able to see him smile. Skype actually lets me see the dumb face he makes when he yawns so I can pick on him about it to no end.

It's the closest thing I can get to actually being there with him. 

I have a roommate who is constantly talking about how she never gets to see her boyfriend. He goes to the same exact university, and lives about a mile away. He comes over every other day. She never shuts up about it either, and maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I think she talks about it in front of me on purpose.

Fact is: 

You know you don't get to see your boyfriend enough when you kiss your laptop camera during Skype.

You know you don't get to see your boyfriend enough when your day is so much brighter just because of a short email or a minute-long phone call.

and

You know you don't get to see your boyfriend enough when you have come to grips that technology is the entire basis of your relationship.

Dear Inventor of Skype,

Thank you so much for inventing this wonderful thing that has helped millions of people across the world stay in touch with their loved ones.

Things I Hide on the Inside

1. I cry on a daily basis when you're gone.
2. My favorite picture of us never goes a night without being kissed before I fall asleep.
3. I have saved voicemails from you from over a year ago that I listen to very often.
4. I'm afraid to reread the letters you wrote me in boot camp because I don't want to commit emotional suicide.
5. My friends ask me how I can handle the distance, and I always say "I don't know." Truth is, the only reason I can think of is because I am in love with you. Love conquers all, right?
6. You being in the Navy is way harder than I ever expected.
7. When you call me while on deployment, all of my sadness goes away. The moment you hang up, it all comes back.
8. I'm afraid to be living with you when you go on deployment. I don't want to be alone.
9. Whenever something great happens to me, I'm not excited when I don't get to tell you.
10. I'm sick of wasting years of our lives being apart from each other.
11. I wished you liked the idea of going to college more.
12. When I miss a phone call, my mood is ruined for the entire day.
13. At night, I cuddle with every stuffed animal you have ever gave to me.
14. The only reason I don't tell you not to make a career out of the Navy is because I know you love your job.
15. I'm proud of myself because I never thought I would be able to survive this long.

I don't tell him these things because I like hearing him happy. He knows that I will never leave his side, and all of these things would make him think that I am doubting us. Only a little over a year to go, and I'm hoping to be living with him. That will make things so much easier on our relationship. The past couple of days have been very emotional for me. Maybe it's a sign that I missed his call tonight because a lot of these things would have came out.