One of the most important lessons to learn: Take What You Can Get!

My boyfriend is stationed in Norfolk, Virginia. I am currently visiting him right now and will be here until January 5th. This will be our first Christmas away from our hometown, and it seems a bit strange.
He was scheduled to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so he tried putting in leave for those days so he could spend both days with me in our hotel room. Well, it was denied. I will be spending 6am - 9pm alone in our  room both days. Of course, I am highly disappointed, but I'm still here. If I would not have been able to take the trip, we would be spending Christmas apart, and he would be completely alone without me or his family to spend the holiday with.

This is just another example of how some things don't happen the way we would like them to. I'm sure that all of the military spouses/girlfriends reading this have experienced something similar, so you can understand exactly how I'm feeling.

Instead of dwelling on the negative, I will be occupying my time with planning something very special for him when he comes back from work. I will be going out to get all of his favorite Christmas movies later on today, and calling his mom to walk her through the Skype downloading process so he can actually see his mom on Christmas. We have also been on a microwave diet since I got here because that's the only appliance our hotel room has, so I'm going to get the highest quality food that I can cook in a damn microwave. Another example of how we have to Take What We Can Get!

Christmas is a time to appreciate what you have. I am so thankful that I will be able to spend a couple hours of that day with my boyfriend because some ladies might only be getting a phone call, or maybe nothing at all. The greatest gift I can think of is being able to cuddle with him in front of the TV watching our favorite Christmas movies with microwaved food, marveling at our beautiful little Christmas tree, and family Skype dates.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone, and appreciate everything that you have during this holiday season. 

Don't Forget

This is a song that I wrote for Zach as a part of his Christmas gift. I will be playing guitar and recording it for youtube, so expect to see that post later. I hope you like it!

You got a hold on me the first time I saw you smile.

Your voice is as soothing as a canary.

We had a normal thing going for quite a while,

Until you threw my heart at the military.

I could be nothing but selfish.

Why are you leaving me behind?

Why am I being punished?

The anger made me cold and unkind.

I know my first reaction wasn’t great.

Being without you wouldn’t be right.

I have to realize this is our fate.

I never want to lose this fight.

Getting used to the fact but,

I’m having battles with myself internally.

We’ll be okay, I know in my gut.

I know I want you for eternity.

Choosing not to have you means

My life would never be the same.

The distance makes goodbyes hard,

But hellos are worth the pain.

Always return to shore from sea,

And come home safe to me.

Although there is no guarantee

That home is where you’re meant to be.

Don’t forget I will be here waiting.

I didn’t know what to expect.

Our love would be imaginary.

I thought our relationship would be wrecked

Everything is out of the ordinary.

Through my laughter and my tears

All of my friends have been there.

Although they do not understand my fears

They can comfort my despair.

I cherished your last days at home.

Creating moments we can always remember.

Focusing on the days that are to come.

We have to work if this is forever.

The night you left I did nothing but cry.

Cuddling your pillow too.

Wishing the sad feelings would die.

But they gave me a chance to miss you.

Choosing not to have you means

My life would never be the same.

The distance makes goodbyes hard,

But hellos are worth the pain.

Always return to shore from sea,

And come home safe to me.

Although there is no guarantee

That home is where you’re meant to be.

Don’t forget I will be here waiting.

Several months go by without my hand being held.

My lips not kissed and

My sides and waist not being felt

But I can still bear to stand.

The anticipation has been killing me.

It’s been eight months since our last meeting.

You’re coming off the ship I see

Running towards me for our first greeting.

Seeing you makes my tears burst.

Your shoulder is where I lay my head.

Every kiss as dreamy as the first

It’s all worth it, like you said.

Holding onto every moment like it’s our last.

It will seem a lifetime before we get a new one.

Reliving memories from our past.

All the joyous times weigh a ton.

Choosing not to have you means

My life would never be the same.

The distance makes goodbyes hard,

But hellos are worth the pain.

Always return to shore from sea,

And come home safe to me.

Although there is no guarantee

That home is where you’re meant to be.

Don’t forget I will be here waiting.

We are surviving on letters and phone calls

While thousands of miles have us separated.

Why did I fall

For something that I hated?

Even though the crying seems to last for hours

I go to bed with a smile on my face.

Recalling all of our written memoirs

Not leaving out a single trace.

The ring you gave me signifies your promise.

I swear I will always honor that for us.

The future we will have together will be bliss.

The only thing we will have to do is adjust.

We will look back at this and laugh.

We’ll make it through, and that’s a fact.

Because my love for you will never fade,

And it’s always going to stay that way.

The Navy has my heart,

And there is nothing I can do,

But cope with the part

And always stay true to you.

Choosing not to have you means

My life would never be the same.

The distance makes goodbyes hard,

But hellos are worth the pain.

Always return to shore from sea,

And come home safe to me.

Although there is no guarantee

That home is where you’re meant to be.

Don’t forget I will be here waiting

Don’t forget I will be here waiting.

When One Month Seems to be One Week

If there is anything I have noticed since I have been a Navy Girlfriend, it's that I have learned to never take time for granted.

On November 18th, I will be heading to San Diego with Zach for his sister's wedding. We will be there until the 26th. We have had this trip planned for a few months now, and of course, I have been so excited since the topic came up. The funny thing is, it seems like only yesterday we brought it up. Now, there is a little less than a month until I get to see him again.

The whole point of that last paragraph was to describe how fast time goes by. At first, the days seemed to take weeks, and the weeks seemed to take years. Boot camp felt like ten years! I'm finally at the point now where I can admit that I'm used to being far away from him, and I'm used to not seeing him for months at a time. I have found ways to keep myself busy throughout the day, and that helps the lonely months pass.

Even though there is one month left until I get to see my wonderful boyfriend, it seems like I will be seeing him this time next week. I never thought I would come to the revelation that my long distance relationship isn't very long distance at all.

Now if only the time we were together didn't seem to speed by as fast!

Never Lose Sight of What is Most Important

Before the Navy was a part of our lives

The past couple of weeks have been really rough.
I haven't been feeling very well, and I've been in those "blah" moods lately. A couple of days ago, both of my roommates were in their rooms napping, and I was sitting in our living room. Absentmindedly,I felt like doing absolutely nothing. I was tired, but I didn't feel like sleeping. Television or Facebook sparked no interest in my mind, and neither did going out. For nearly three hours, I sat on our love seat staring at our room and thinking. 
My mind was occupied by everything that has been bothering me lately, and that's what this entire post is about. I'm sharing two of my biggest issues.


My first concern/complain is: I don't know if I'm happy with where I am right now. Part of me is ecstatic beyond words to be on my own in college. The other part is dreading my classes, and missing the ones I love. The vast majority of people don't like going to classes, so what am I so worked up for? Stress is killing me. I feel so busy that I can barely lift my head out of the density for fresh air. If there is one think that I have learned, it's that responsibility sucks. I have become a perfectionist with my schoolwork. There's another problem. (Goldilocks couldn't be happy with some porridge that was a little chilly, or a tad bit too warm. All she had to do was NUKE IT! or BLOW ON IT! But no... She had to wait until she got the perfect temperature dinner until she was happy.) Why can't I just settle instead of reconstructing every project five times?! On a happier note, I love being here. Central Michigan University has the most comforting environment imaginable, and I have met some wonderful people. My negativity has just began to override my happiness, and it needs to get out of my way!


My second , and most important complain/concern is: I feel so distant from Zach. We don't get to talk as often as I would like, but some of this can be prevented on his end. He is constantly falling asleep before he gets a chance to call me at night. I know that he's tired, and I can understand that working can take a lot out of someone. That just happens a lot, so I feel like I don't get to talk to him as often as I could be. Also, since I haven't been feeling good lately, I feel way more vulnerable. Emotional sicknesses are the worst because it takes more than just two teaspoons of cough syrup to cure. I would give anything for Zach to be here to lay with me. Another reason why I'm feeling so distant from him is because he hates his job on the ship right now. He's cranking (which means he's working in the kitchen). With his job, there's nothing for him to do when they aren't on deployment, so they stuck him with this duty for a few months. Every day he complains about how annoying it is, and I really think that it's affecting his personal life as well. He has been acting a little different since they started him on this job, and it's worrying me. He doesn't keep in contact with his family as much as he used to, he gets irritated very easily, and he doesn't do as many cute things for me like he used to.


Last night, he called me, and we talked until 4:30 this morning. We had the most in-depth heart to heart conversation that we have had in a while. I admitted to him that I'm weary about his personality altering. Following my explanation, he replied by saying "I know I have. I've noticed it too." After he said that, I started a speech that went something like this:
On a daily basis I think about what this separation is leading up to. I'm suffering through lectures and pounds of homework so one day I can do what I've always wanted to do; become a teacher. This stupid cranking business that they're making you do isn't going to last much longer, and then you'll be out on deployment doing the job that you love to do. Then in a few years, you'll be able to come home to me every night, and you will look back on the rough patch you're having right now with nothing but a smile on your face. None of this will matter in several years when we're married, and squeezed next to our beautiful children on the couch. This part of your career is the tiniest fraction of your life. Always let the positives outweigh the negatives. Never let something so small take over who you are. I fell in love with the man who didn't take crap from anyone. I fell in love with the guy who never let anything get in the way of his happiness. I fell in love with you because you never lose sight of what is most important to you. 


When we finally decided we should probably get some sleep, I hung up the phone, and I started thinking again. Why would I give him that advice when I am not practicing it myself? It wasn't just him having issues with changing, it was me too. I have let the stress pile on top of my head, and I haven't been as understanding and caring as I should be. It's scary when epiphanies seem to creep up on you. 


I began writing this post at 12:27A.M. It's now 3:01A.M. As I was writing this, my mind continued to drift into a new thought every ten seconds. I have no idea why I've been thinking  so much lately, but my deserves a nice rest. 

My Favorite Memory

Whenever I tell this story, tears never fail to accompany my words. Since water marks can't appear on a computer screen, just know that my eyes were not dry while writing this. 

This is my most prized moment with my boyfriend, and I will never forget every detail of that night.

My favorite memory of us is the night before he left for boot camp. It was January 11th, very cold, and there was about eight inches of snow. At almost midnight, he admitted to me that he had never made a snowman before (even though we're both from Michigan)! We went out behind the apartment building in pajama pants, coats, and mittens. I showed him how to roll the big snowballs, and we finally ended up making a miniature snowman. Finishing the task seemed to last three hours, but that was only because we would be distracted by throwing snowballs at each other, and just laughing like we were watching a stand-up comic.

After marveling over the fact he successfully built a snowman, we started drawing in the snow. With the immature sides of our brain, we thought to see who could trace the largest male sex organ (yes... I really meant penis). After I won that battle, he told me not to look in his direction for a minute. That man must eat five carrots a day because no matter how many times I tried to peek, he caught me! So he convinced me not to look again by saying "Do it one more time, and there will be no surprise for babygirl." I still remember the exact quote because it was SO funny at the time! When I was finally able to look, he wrote "I love you Danielle" so big that you could read it from a plane. 

I attempted to copy him, but before I could get to the word "love," he has tackled me to the ground tickling me. (Sidenote: Our tickle fights get highly dangerous. One of us constantly ends up getting hurt, usually me. BUT this time, neither of us came out injured!) After a few minutes, and probably after waking a few people up, we laid there in the snow kissing and talking. Not once did I feel the snow melt through my pajama pants. There was something much more important right in front of my eyes to even think about anything else.
It took us a while to decide to go inside for bed. I couldn't even give an estimate on how long we were out there because no part of my mind was functioning.  

Thanks for reading! 

English Essay About A Decision I Have Made That Has Changed My Life

10-14-2011

The Military Has My Heart

INTRODUCTION   

A little over two years ago, I began a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend, Zach. Our chemistry has always been tremendous, and I laugh like I never have before. He raises my self-esteem, and for that, my parents are most grateful. We’re best friends. To be honest, I don’t even tell the women I call my “best friends” half of the things I share with Zach. As a matter of fact, my “best friends” tell me they feel like enduring in a healthy vomit after overhearing our phone conversations. He lured me in by telling me how beautiful I am, and how he’s never seen anyone more ravishing in his life. Whenever he looks at me, one eyebrow will raise not even an inch, and he gives me a half-crooked smile that I constantly melt at. We have a bond that is indescribable. Even though we have a great relationship, one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make was whether I should stay with Zach when he left for the United States NAVY, or go our separate ways.

DESCRIPTION OF THE SITUATION

            Zach’s dream has always been to be in the NAVY. I have known this since we began dating, but I refused to believe it would actually happen. We were around each other too often to even imagine having to say goodbye to one another. I tried not to mention the topic because I stupidly believed he might forget about it. In August of 2010, he reluctantly brought the subject up, and asked me how I would feel if he joined soon. At first, I was entirely unsure.

Selfishly, all I could think about was how I felt. Why was he doing this to me? How could he possibly feel this comfortable leaving me behind? I thought that him leaving meant that I wouldn’t be able to see him for a year at a time. All of our fun experiences together will just turn into faint memories. Nothing would be the same anymore.

Eventually, I overcame being unsure, and I started to get angry. Our relationship was getting a little hostile, and it was difficult to be around him. In the back of my mind, all I could think about was him leaving, and how I would be left in Michigan alone. Arguments would arise every day, and they would be brought on by the simplest things. I couldn’t get over the fact that he was considering joining the military.

Every thought in my mind told me to admit I couldn’t do it, but my heart was telling me to let him go. The stress that would arise from him being away from me seemed monumental, and the amount I would miss him would be too great for words. There wasn’t a question in my mind about what was best for him because I already knew the answer. My heart knew that the NAVY would be perfect for his future, but I had no idea how to deal with my best friend being away from me for months at a time.

FACTORS TO CONSIDER

The most important factor of my decision was the distance that would soon be between us. Before he left, whenever I wanted to see him, it was so simple to get in the car, and drive for 10 minutes. I knew that when he joined the NAVY, I would have to drive thousands of miles to do that. It would take me a long time to get used to being so far away from each other. Having a relationship based off of phone calls would be extremely difficult. 

            Zach’s mom has also been quite the challenge in our relationship, and this was another factor I had to consider. I knew that once he left, I would have to talk to her more because I would need to update her on how Zach is doing. The idea of doing this put me on edge because we have never had a casual relationship.  Even when we first started dating, his mom did not like me. This was the first time I’ve ever experienced being unapproved of. I never knew how to handle it, so I was always overly nice to her. When Zach had to leave, I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable having to talk to her by myself. She was very intimidating, and I always got the impression that she had wished I wasn’t around.

On the other hand, his sister, Jaimee, has always been supportive of us. She told me some important things that became factors, and started to cement my decision into the ground. Before Zach left for boot camp, Jaimee wanted to meet up with me for lunch one afternoon. Ten years ago, she was a Master at Arms in the NAVY, so she knew everything that I should be expecting. She told me that I would be able to see him a few times a year, and that he would be able to have his phone on him whenever he wanted after boot camp was over. Jaimee said that he will be able to see more countries in a few years than most people will ever see in their entire lives. Everything she was telling me kept circling around the fact that joining the NAVY was the best possible thing he could do for his life.

The final factor was that I didn’t know what to expect. I had no idea how often I would be able to have contact with Zach because it’s all up to his Recruit Division Commanders. With the way I was thinking, I would only be able to get one letter a month, one phone call every quarter year, and only be able to see him once a year. Another aspect I was clueless about was where he would be stationed. What if he was sent to Japan? There is no doubt that I was expecting the worst the entire time. Not once did I think optimistically about overcoming our obstacles.        

EVALUATION OF OPTIONS

             With the decision I had to make, there were two options. The first option was to end the relationship, and separate in completely opposite directions. If I were to choose this, my decision would eliminate so much stress that I wouldn’t need on top of school. I would also be able to explore more opportunities in college, and live life for myself. Relationships are known to “tie a person down,” and I wanted the full college experience. Although, the best part about leaving the relationship would be not having to pretend to like Zach’s mother anymore, and that would be phenomenal.

            The second option seemed to be most practical, and that was to stay in the relationship with Zach, and see if we could tolerate the long distance. There is no way I could ever picture my life without Zach in it because we have been through so much together. He has been there for me at all of my worst times, and he has been a part of all my best times. I also had to consider the fact that I would not be waiting alone. He is waiting too, and that’s all I could ask for. Finally, the NAVY is in Zach’s best interest as college is mine.

CONCLUSION

Zach has been an Aviation Boatswain’s Mate/Aircraft Handler in the United States NAVY for nine months. For seven months out of the year, I have no idea where he is, but that’s okay. I had the power to make a rational decision when it came to love, and the consensus did not come from my mind, it came from my heart. We are currently in a healthy, long distance relationship, and he still continues to brighten up each of my days. Even though being away from each other is as hard as I had imagined, I had to accept the fact that we had to make sacrifices if we still wanted to be together while he is in the military.

We have been dating since August 22, 2009, and I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I never thought I would have to communicate with my boyfriend through letters, but we’ve done it a countless number of times within the period he has been away. Not once have I regretted my decision to stay with Zach. Our relationship is stronger than ever, and in a few years, I will be moving in with him where he is stationed in Norfolk, Virginia. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t worry about him. Whether he’s out on a deployment, or safe in Norfolk, there’s always that emptiness in my heart. So many times during a day, I think about how much I miss him. Our phone calls can be very emotional, and I find myself crying multiple times in a week, but I still wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Talking to his family has been such a great help. I was skeptical about how it would work, but we’ve been getting along so well. For his boot camp graduation, I took a trip to Chicago with his mom, sister, and aunt. We all had a great time, and they make me laugh just as much as he does. Ironically, Zach says he’s jealous because he thinks I talk to his mom more than he does now, which was completely unexpected.

Zach being gone has helped me focus more on personal issues as well. I have a feeling that if he were here, I would be more distracted when it came to my school work. That was a big problem before he left, while I was in high school. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been around my family more than I have ever been in the past two years. It’s been a big change being able to pay attention to myself. As much of a luxury it would be to have him here again, I am content with the way this has changed my life as well.     

Overall, Zach leaving has made us mature as a couple, and as individuals. I have learned to set my priorities straight, and always do what makes me the happiest. I would’ve been miserable if I didn’t choose to stay with him. He’s matured into a great man by serving this country, and establishing an exceptional work ethic. Together, we have learned how to keep a strong relationship going from thousands of miles away. If the distance can’t disturb our happiness, nothing will.

As Strong as the Men

Military girlfriends are as strong as the men their hearts belong to. 

We have the strength to wait to be held for months (maybe years) at a time. 

We're independent enough to keep a relationship alive in different states, countries, or continents.

We have the power to leave whenever we want, but we don't because the wait is well worth it.

We brush the dust off the teddy bear we got two Valentine's Days ago so we can cuddle at night.

We have to be deprived of the touchy-feely, sweaty sensation that we dream about all the time!

-and-

We have to be pretty damn good at math to count down the days until we're in his arms again.